Ohaiyo 4 The Toushin Taishi Special
by Taka and Keichirou
Summary: /one-shot/ Natakuxpractically everyone else. The ultimate roof-blowing chaos has hit Tenkai....hahahahahahaha


Ohaiyo 4 The Toushin Taishi Special

By Sukunami Taka

Warm, cloudy mist rose, surrounding the small lake. Beyond lush ferns, a natural sparkling waterfall cascades into the lake, whispering a gentle murmur. A lithe figure could be seen within the haze, submerged in the blue waters. Skin of purest white, tinged with pearl droplets sprayed from the waterfall. Silky, sable hair spilled around the ethereal form, like an inky, moon reflection. An exquisite face of immortality, that captivates the stoniest of hearts, with trailing eyelashes, falling demurely across pale cheeks. A slender hand caresses a graceful neck, sprinkling trails of clear washed water…………

Two of heavens guards watched wide-eyed, hidden in the thick foliage. One grinned, aching to touch the smooth skin, "Eh, what a pretty goddess…..a bit young…..but just look at that face……." The other licked his lips and jumped up, "Arre…kawaiee one-chan….can we join you?"

Voluminous eyes snapped open, staring. In shock, the guards looked into ageless golden eyes….that narrowed. In an instant, the deity had swung an immense glowing sword around, its sharp tip pointing towards the two intruders. In horrifying realization, the two held up their arms, stammering, "Komen….komen…." Smirking, the apparently dangerous deity snarled in a deep voice, "Ne-chan? Watashiwa Toushin Nataku Taishi of the Tenkai Army….."

(the above line is meant to be spoken slowly with deliberation as the guards' fear escalates-T)

"Na…..Nataku….Tai……THE FIGHTING GOD WHO IS ALLOWED TO KILL???!!!!!???"

Nataku grinned, almost in malicious enjoyment, and whispered, "Boo….."

Screaming in absolute terror, the guards ran, the earth tearing beneath their practically flying legs. The youth rolled his eyes, then grabbed his grey robe and towel………

Strolling in dark humor, Nataku Taishi tugged at his robe, trying to get comfortable with the newly laid bandages. An attendant comes running, "Nataku-sama! Nataku-sama……Kami-sama wishes to see you…." The deity sighed, muttering, "As usual….Nataku do this……Nataku do that…." He then stalked off towards the ivory white buildings.

Kneeling on the nearly-ice-like floor is not a matter of enjoyment to Nataku. He contemplated that he must have spent atleast one third of his life, just kneeling on this floor……another one third alone in his room….and of course, one third spent carrying out his 'duty' of stifling any chaotic activities that goes against Tenkai's rules, which basically means *as a cute chibi version of Nataku would put it* getting rid of the big boss' enemies. _What an utterly boring life_, he thought as he methodically uttered a 'hai, Kami-sama' every time the Creator booms 'Nataku Taishi'.

"Demo, mochirou, Kami-sama. My son, Nataku, will do it…." Came a slick voice. Caught unaware, Nataku turned to see Litouten behind him, "Eh, narni………" God nodded, "Good. Nataku Taishi, you will set out at once……." The extremely young god leapt up, "Narni?Eh……what did you say?"

God lifted a shaggy eyebrow, "NATAKU TAISHI, weren't you listening?"

"Yes I was…but you didn't say 'go kill someone or the other, NATAKU TAISHI'……"

"Yes I did…"

"No, you didn't. You said 'AND THE YOUKAI IS PROVING TO BE TROUBLESOME, WAKATA DES?'"

"Yes, so?"

"You didn't say 'NATAKU TAISHI'"

"What?!"

"You were suppose to say 'blah blah…NATAKU TAISHI' then I go 'hai, Kami-sama' , then you 'good.Nataku Taishi, you will set out at once', then I go 'HAI!'. That's the way it was suppose to go……."

God looked at the indignant boy, incredulously, as if he thought that his heretic fighting god had finally gone insane (he probably was thinking that) and he leaned forward, "What?" Nataku lifted an eyebrow, "Are you stupid? Get your lines right, you old fag……"

"NARNI!! WHAT INSOLENCE!! Do you think this Tenkai is some movie set??!! You….you…..you MIDGET SHRED OF IMMATURITY!!!" Gasps could be heard echoing through the hall. Nataku grinned, " This is more like it, you ancient piece of prehistoric senility!!"

The hentai looking Litouten gasped (very original), shocked, "NATAK…."

"Get out of my way, you slimy always-get-credit-for-what-I-do manipulator, I'm rocking here! As I was saying, you obsolete, useless know-only-how-to-get-OTHER-people-to-do-YOUR-dirty-work stone-chair potato!!"

" Then you are a pint-sized think-you're-so-smart-eventhough-you-are-NOT heretic!!"

"Is that the best you can do? You insipid, totally-unfashionable, superannuated fuddy-duddy!!"

God twitched, at a loss for words. The boyish fighting god laughed, "HA! You're beginning to resemble your nephew, the think-he's-so-great forever-erratic Konzen Douji, what with the twitching and all!!"

"WHAT?!?" growled the said insulted god, who was actually innocent and was sniggering inwardly at seeing God beaten by the boy, "You HELL-FORSAKEN INDOLENT DOLT!!"

God nodded furiously, "GOOD, Kon….."

"SHUT UP! You decrepit handicap!!"

"Now see here….." a sultry willowy goddess stepped into the hall, twirling a lock of dusky hair, "Family shouldn't fight…"

A certain red head general chuckled, " Feeling maternal, are you? You over-provocative Kanzeon Bosatsu…."

Her high nose flared, "You should know your PLACE, Kenren Taisho….perverted always-loafing drunkard…."

"DRUNKARD!? You immoral, salacious flirt!!"

"Why YOU…..!!!"

"YEAH! You bawdy always-think-you're-so-high-and-mighty good-for-NOTHING!!"

"Leave her alone, you sloppy dead-as-dog runt!"

" And you are freak-of-nature dull-eyed twitcher!!"

"Urusai!!! Baka slob hair-like-cockroach iconoclast and DON'T-MAKE-ME-COME-THERE, KONO BABA!!!"

" You never-know-what-you're-doing scarlet-like-woman's-blood unwanted sloth!!!"

"you antiquated cave-man with UNSIGHTLY NOSE HAIR!!!"

"You always-popping-blood-vessal-why-don't-you-really-burst-one-so-you'll-DIE overstated sun pretender!!"

"You scurrilous would-sleep-with-ANYONE whore-like grizzly!"

"You got-nothing-to-you sword-waving babyish ill-fated accident!!"

"You way-NOT-invaluable always-shirting-responsibilities sake-drowned cretin!!!"

"You so-antisocial-even-your-mother-won't-know-you fan-wielding zoo keeper!!!"

"you disagreeable lily-livered looks-so-gut-wrenching-you-can-even-cause-death-in-TENKAI creator of disaster!!"

"you push-your-breasts-everywhere-one-day-they'll-fall-out loose-tongued goddess-of-MERRYMAKING-for-your-own-pleasure love affair representative!!!"

"You no-manners candy-sucking only-know-how-to-run-away killing robot!"

"Stick your pasty-scaly-faced weird-haired abnormal-red-yellow-eyed ass out!!!!"

Hojun, the very innocent(probably the only one innocent here) West Sea Dragon King jerked, wondering what had HE done……..

The adorable Son Goku, biting into a delicious meat bun, paused to look, wide-eyed, at the screaming gods tearing at each other's throats (practically). Spotting Nataku, Konzen and Kenren, he was ready to join them but the constantly calm Tenpo Gensui pulled him back, "Goku…….those supposedly adult deities should be left alone…..iko…." "Hai!" came the happy chirped reply, and the two walked away from the squabbling roof-blasting nearly-at-the-verge-of-destroying-Tenkai gods.

As night fell, Goku laid awake, sucking on a thumb, "Eh…?"

A small form crawled in between the sheets and popped up next to him, grinning widely.

"Natak-chan!"

"Hehe…"

"Eh, did you finish already?"

"Iye….they're still fighting…isn't it great?"

"eeehhhhh……."

"The last thing I heard was 'you arrogant impudent gaki!' as I left, hahahahahahahaha……"

"Sho……."

"Eh? Isn't is great? If they keep fighting, they'll leave me alone….heheheheee…..I'll have more time to play….."

"Eh……..eeeeeeehhhhhhh….hontorni?!?"

"Hehe…hai! And you know, I even call that Kami-sama 'you expired wrinkled slave-driver'……."

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha…." "Hahahahahahahahhahaha….."

A/N Taka: this has got to be my best one yet…took me a while to get all the cursing right for the characters. Ano…..what do you think? Nice? Hehehehehe…..

Anyway…….this is for Nataku Taishi (obviously the writer again, not the honourable and very-good-with-words fighting god)

Hope you (and all the readers) enjoy it…………..there may be an Ohaiyo 5 coming…………arigato…….


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